Pandemic Atlanta Lockdown - Week 3

First grocery shopping in Lisboa, 2012

A first sleepless night in 2 years

Although I have had sleepless nights during my mid-PhD for paper submission deadlines, by 2018, I had developed better time management for deadlines and never had a sleepless night in 2018 - 2020. But the WFH messed up my rhythm, and I had a sleepless Thursday night for a Friday 8 p.m deadline. Luckily, the next one is a Friday night. I had a long sleep last night. Now, everything is okay. I am relaxed and also successfully submitted my paper (codenamed, "Niffler") by the deadline.

Change of Perspectives

When the pandemic started to ruin my regular life of traveling, going out, and meeting people, it was stressful. I am an extrovert. I love people. I love seeing new places and interacting with humans in the real world. January was concerning, February was saddening, and March was an outright disaster. April is probably going to be worse. But I have a better perspective now. Things are going to be worsening. But we are privileged that we can work from home, and live in beautiful apartments. People are risking their lives due to this virus. I am thankful for what I have. I have also well-adjusted to the indoor home-alone (a.k.a., boring) life. Not to say that I don't have sad or feeling down days. But I am also not complaining too much, at least not this week.

Life is an Indian movie

Wild Kopi Luwak

In Indian movies, when the plot gets sad, they throw a flashback of the past when everyone was safe and happy. Sometimes, they do a dream scene of a happy future, often with a song in a random country. Or some random comedy scene to cheer you up in the middle of all the movie sadness. When you are stuck home in a never-ending pandemic, you cannot clearly think of the fun activities you want to do in the future (which future?). You definitely cannot escape reality by running to a random country. You can, of course, think of the past - the times before the pandemic hit hard. I see many people are doing that, including myself. We share our old photos on social media. We now appreciate all the good times we had while life was normal -- which is merely 2 months ago.

Life changes with a pandemic

Going abroad and coming to Portugal changed me drastically. I was an introvert in Sri Lanka, and Portugal converted me into an extrovert really quick. I also became more people-oriented and love going out more. I still remember my first day and the first week in Lisboa vividly. I arrived at my apartment. It was still empty as my then-unknown-stranger apartment-mates hadn't arrived yet. I had to go to buy something to eat. By then, I didn't know how to cook. So I went out to buy something to eat quick. I was lazy. I was not that comfortable finding my way to the supermarket - although the landlord showed it to me on my way to the apartment from the airport. Luckily, there was a small shop right next to my apartment. I bought bread, butter, and milk. I handed the shopkeeper, who introduced himself to me instantly as a Brazilian, a 50 Euro note. He said he doesn't have change. Luckily, I also had some coins. I gave him the exact amount of coins (around 2 Euro). He spoke English, sufficient for the transaction. 

Brown cow

Eventually, and quickly, I fell in love with the city. The city changed me completely. Now, we are stuck at home. Moving to Portugal was a choice and a personal life event for me. But a pandemic is global. Everyone (with exceptions) is forced to stay home for the betterment of humanity. I cannot stop imagining how we all will change when the pandemic eventually comes to an end. Will we have different priorities? Will we become more introverts (again)? Will we start to change our lifestyles? How long will this last, and what will be the long-term consequences? So many questions. Since I always kept moving between countries, even a little period seem like a long one. With this pandemic, my trip to Panama in January feels like a distant past. I am here like, "Oh, I miss those good old days!" apparently referring to the mid-January when no one was concerned about a "small SARS-like outbreak" in Wuhan. I hope we all will recover soon.

Perception of time

Overdosing on flower tea

Looking back, time looks weird and non-linear. Sometimes I feel like the years since I left Sri Lanka have been quick. Other times, I think the exact opposite. 2012 seems like a distant past and a yesterday - both at the same time. Staying home alone alters the perceptions of time as well. Especially a deadly pandemic. The last 2 months felt like a decade. Not to say that I had a dull 2020. My January and February were quite impressive, despite the growing concerns and sadness of the pandemic and my ruined plans to reunite with my family. But March was when things got ugly, as the virus became global and a pandemic was announced.

This Sunday, I was happily cooking, humming an Indian song. Suddenly, I mistakenly stepped onto a long piece of glass, and my foot started to bleed. I carefully and quickly removed the glass off my foot, thinking, "who the fuck put a glass here?" Realization kicked in that I was home alone for 4 months, and that must be the glass I broke a few weeks ago. I had cleaned the floor then, but somehow a piece of glass escaped to hunt me down later. I slowly jogged to my bed, not to ruin the carpet with all the blood thinking to myself, "where is my wife to protect me?"

 
We are all zombies...